Teeth

I have always placed a lot of emphasis on the science of dreaming. To me, it offers a glimpse into someone's subconscious without the burden of their conscious mind getting in the way and tainting what all the information means. Generally, the information is offered up in a way that's so veiled that the dreamer can't distinguish the meaning, and henceforth, won't leave out evidence of their feelings and emotions that they might otherwise hide. When you're analyzing somebody's dreams, I believe that the dream offers pure insight into the dreamer's mental state, and especially into the parts of it that the dreamer himself isn't even aware of. The whole system of mental faculties surrounding dreams fascinates me.

For my entire life, there have been a few particular themes that creep up in my dreams over and over depending on what's happening in waking life. Over the last year, I've been contending with a string of dreams that always end with all of my teeth falling out. Bizarre, huh? In those moments before you wake up and you think it's really happening, it's one of the most disturbing things you can imagine. In the dream, I'll become aware that my teeth feel loose, and then I'll pull or push on one with my finger and it'll just start bleeding and fall out. You know that scene from "Stir of Echoes" where Kevin Bacon is looking in the mirror and he starts pulling his teeth out? That's what it looks and "feels" like. I'll get so uncomfortable, it'll usually be enough to wake me up and double check to make sure my teeth are still there. The worst part is that after waking up, I can still remember the "feeling" of my teeth coming out, the taste of copious amounts of blood, and worst of all cradling the entire mess in my hands in complete hopelessness.

From the being a fairly regular occurrence, those dreams have stopped in the last month. I've been doing some internet research to try and find some explanation here, but we all know how legit most of the internet is. I have noticed some common themes that seem to make some sense, as well as the explanation that these dreams are actually pretty common among people, so I post them here as a guidepost for anyone having a similar experience.

The main explanation seems to be feelings of powerlessness, loss of control, and abandonment. When your teeth fall out, there is often very little you can do about it. If my subconscious is worried about those issues, or notices them happening when my conscious mind is still unaware, this is how it would most likely be expressed. In the last year, there are very few times where I've felt like I've had control over certain aspects of my life. I've expressed this many times in past posts, but I generally feel like the world is moving along without me and I'm just trying to catch up.

Tooth loss dreams are also a sign of significant fear of humiliation. When I was speaking with a therapist a few months ago, we determined that fear is the reigning negative factor in my life. I've been showered with constant worry since I was a child. I was always told repeatedly about every possible bad outcome of every situation, and this just served to reinforce any phobias or nervousness I had about the world around me. Fast forward to middle and high school, where I lived the social-life of an awkward outcast, and was often embarrassed for the enjoyment of the "other" crowd. Follow that with being on the receiving end of an emotionally abusive relationship in high school and early college where she would use my fear against me as a form of controlling me through humiliation. Together, these experiences create a cocktail of hesitance, weakness, and fear that I'm still trying to overcome. The point being, that missing teeth is something that is embarrassing, and with my strong negative association for humiliation, this could be a glimpse of that fear hanging out somewhere in my subconscious, preying on me in ways that I may never be entirely aware of.

Teeth fall out, under normal circumstances, during periods of significant growth. First, when we lose our baby teeth, and again once we get old. This shows me that my subconscious is focusing on aging and the fear of growing old. As most of you know, the last few months have led me through a lot of soul-searching about my future and the goals I've set for myself along the way. One of my primary goals was to have at least one kid by the time I was 30. I ideally would like to have a year or two of marriage without kids, and another year or two of "dating" before getting married. I'm 25 now, so that means my time is running much shorter if I'm going to make this goal. I realize that over 30 isn't going to be the end of the world, but it's still frustrating when you can't accomplish what you've set out to do. This has been on my mind a lot lately too.

But the last month, things have been better. I feel like I have more control over my life, and confidence in myself, and I'm starting to make peace with the uncertainty of my future. I feel as though I've come a long way, and it appears as though my subconscious is starting to believe the same thing.