Moving was an unbelievable pain. Of course, there are moving stories. Our lives are never complete without a few days worth of wondering "who else does this happen to?"
Saturday morning started with me pulling something in my back, which was fun to nurse all day while carrying heavy boxes. We were also out one car for the move because Lia's car suddenly wouldn't shift out of park, so she had to call AAA to get her to the mechanic, and that repair will cost her about $150. Cable install took about 3 hours and the cable guy had to call for backup and his supervisor said this was the most difficult assignment he's had in his 6 years on the job. Since our duplex is in a historical house that is over 100 years old, it was sided with some weird slate tile stuff that they don't make anymore. One of the cable guys accidentally drilled through an outside wall and it SHATTERED the siding in that area. So the landlords got into an altercation with them. (But the good news is that I don't think we have to pay our install fee.)
Then in the last HOUR we were cleaning out the old place, the kitchen sink started belching up icky black stuff and we can't get it to drain anymore. We plunged it, we used Draino, we tried everything. Still won’t drain. Of course, this would happen on our last hour.
And now comes the pinnacle of our stupid decisions. In fact, this might be one of the stupidest decisions we've EVER made. You ready for this?
Remember that duplex that we pulled out of at the beginning of the month? (Go back and read about it, if you don't.) We’re still waiting to get the other half of our security deposit back. So we called Wendi and she gave us a sob story about how nobody’s calling about the place, and she’s so poor because it’s not rented that they’re going to have to declare bankruptcy and that if it’s not rented by July 15th they’ll have to keep our deposit. She’s offered it to three people and they’ve all turned her down and was talking about how she’s computer illiterate so she's not trying to blow us off because she wouldn't be able to get Lia's number out of her phone if she tried. So then Lia looks at me after the phone call and says “I’ve got a crazy idea. Since she said she’s computer illiterate, why don’t we put it up on Craigslist with her phone number?” So I remarked that this is one of those situations where everybody wins. They’d get a lot more interest considering that they’ve got more advertising than the one sign outside. We’d get our security deposit back. They’re out of debt. Everybody wins. What on earth were we thinking?
So we made an ad. And it was a good ad. Pictures and everything. It was late at night by the time we decided to do this, and it sounds like a really stupid idea now, but it sounded great at 11 pm when our brains were mush from the stress of moving. We were going to call Wendi back in the morning and see if she wanted it edited or taken down or what-have-you. Well, then the next morning came. And we forgot, because we were too busy tripping over boxes and forgetting that it was trash day. Oopsies.
An email from Lia comes in at some point during the work day, saying that Wendi’s called her like 5 times without leaving a message. Lia called her back and Wendi told her that her niece found the ad online and thought it was horrible, and that she had been getting calls from “riff-raff” all day. Lia told her that we were just trying to help, and that she erased it. Wendi told her the police have been contacted.
I finally got in touch with Wendi after playing phone tag for a while. I told her that I was a little confused about what was going on because Lia wasn’t available to call since she was working. So Wendi told me her side of the story, which was basically just that she started getting a terrifying amount of calls, and people started stopping into the house when she was alone there and texting her and all that kind of stuff, and that people were just offering to take it over the phone without even seeing the place. Sounds like a lot of sketchy activity. She called Craigslist and they did some research and found out that Lia had posted the ad, and so Wendi filed a complaint. So then I told her OUR side of the story and how it sounded like a situation where everybody wins and we were just trying to help. I also apologized profusely.
I’ve noticed when talking to Wendi, it’s not a conversation as much as it is that she’s talking at you, so this whole bit is her just “talking at me.” She scolded me (seriously, like in a “mom voice” and everything) and said that the reason she doesn’t have anything posted online is because she’s very picky about who she rents to and the kind of people who just see it online are lazy because they aren’t putting forth the effort to drive around, and she doesn’t think that they will take care of the place like they did. She complained about how she’s really trying and she’s in a really rough spot because before this all happened they had just put their house up for sale, so they’re broke because they wouldn't have done that if they knew we weren't going to be renting and she doesn’t feel like we are appreciating all of her hard work trying to get this rented. She said again that she has a legal right to the security deposit money because they never gave us receipts so it’s our word against hers, though since we wrote “security deposit” on our checks, it could be implied in the court room as our intent to rent, and then it wouldn’t matter whether or not we signed the lease because that still counts as some kind of a verbal contract. She said most landlords wouldn’t even have given half of it back. Then she told me how she feels like she’s being very fair with this entire process and she’s pissed that we've brought up legal action about the security deposit on more than one occasion.
I told her that I know she’s been putting in the hard-work because this sucks for all of us. I reiterated that we were just trying to help and we came to the agreement that she won’t press charges for this as long as we stop bringing up the legality of whether or not she's entitled to our money without a signed lease. She said she’s still going to try and get us our money back if it’s rented by July 15th, but she can’t make any promises that that’ll happen. After that, it’ll depend what’s going on with their money situation because of the home sale and everything. I made a suggestion for a location for her to move the For Rent sign, because it was in a place that I don’t think it was able to be seen very well, and she said she would move it immediately. I thanked her for all her hard work, which she said she appreciates, and she said she’d be in touch if it gets rented or July 15th comes. At least it ended on a better note.
I do not think the "police" had really been contacted. I think she meant that the Craigslist people had been contacted.
Live and learn, kids. Whenever you have a important decision that needs to be made, sleep on it. Ask people's permission BEFORE trying to help them, not afterwards, because they might not appreciate it. The best of intentions have often led to worst results. And the best way to handle conflicts is with peaceful resolution, not shaking your fist over your head.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Monday, June 14, 2010
My Sunshine and Rain
I spent yesterday alone.
While not quite rainy, the world through my windows was overcast and gloomy. On days like that, I tend to find myself acting quite a bit different than I usually would. Everything seems so much more significant when there's nobody watching, because it feels like the burden falls on me to make things happen. I realize that's ridiculous, but my awareness ends on the outskirts of my field of vision. Without anyone else around within that sphere to have an impact on the world around me, the world around me doesn't change. I often find myself just getting up and walking from room to room, sitting quietly and watching the world go by outside the windows, sometimes intentionally tapping on walls or furniture so that my environment doesn't linger in silence for too long. When I read that sentence over again to myself, it makes me sound like a crazy person. I used to enjoy having some time to myself, but sometimes it's strange how things imprint on you.
There was a span of a couple of months where I lived in what felt like total solitude. My closest non-work friend lived forty-five minutes away and the landlord wouldn't let me out of the lease after my roommate moved out. With my horribly underpaid wages, paying for the entire lease by myself, and gas being $4 a gallon at the time, I couldn't even drive out to see anyone without having to forego something important, like food. As a result of some pretty sudden and significant life changes, I was overcome with constant feelings of depression, inadequacy, and the more than anything, neglect.
When I looked out my window there, you couldn't see any sign of human civilization, all the way to the horizon. Just nature. I woke up every morning and went to sleep every night feeling like there was nobody else in the entire world, but me. Try to imagine, for a moment, what that feels like. You look out your window in most other places and you see other buildings or cars or people. Even seeing other people going on with their lives would have been a comfort. Somehow, even a passerby making eye contact with your building is a good validation that you exist in some form, or somehow matter to somebody. But when I looked out, I knew for certain that no one was looking back. And nobody ever would be. It's one thing to experience this for a few days, but four months really begins to have an adverse affect. At some point, it starts playing tricks on you, and makes you think illogical things. It makes you feel like nothing you do matters to anybody, and in many ways it doesn't, in that situation. I could have gotten in my car and left for weeks at a time, and other than my coworkers, not a soul would have known I was gone. Even when explaining my feelings to people, I don't think they ever truly understand how devastating it felt. It rained a lot that year. That's what I remember the most.
Days like yesterday remind me of that time. It calls up all those odd phobias and neuroses that make me feel a little lonely again. At one point, they were techniques I developed for emotional survival; small steps I could take to keep the loneliness at bay. Maybe that does make me a little crazy, I don't know anymore. And really, it's not the point anyway. I guess at the end of the day, it all boils down to appreciation. I don't feel alone anymore. I have a supportive network of friends who are always there for me and who are well within immediate driving distance. Some of which would probably drop everything if they knew I wasn't doing anything. And most of all, I have Lia. She's been such a positive influence in my life these past thirteen months. I have so much now that I didn't have back then, and I'm so thankful to have it.
Eventually, it did start to rain yesterday evening. For me, a reminder of those dark times. I decided to go out and buy her favorite flowers, and when she called to let me know she was coming home, I sat on the stairs with them, waiting for her to come home so I could surprise her. It was the least I could do.
While not quite rainy, the world through my windows was overcast and gloomy. On days like that, I tend to find myself acting quite a bit different than I usually would. Everything seems so much more significant when there's nobody watching, because it feels like the burden falls on me to make things happen. I realize that's ridiculous, but my awareness ends on the outskirts of my field of vision. Without anyone else around within that sphere to have an impact on the world around me, the world around me doesn't change. I often find myself just getting up and walking from room to room, sitting quietly and watching the world go by outside the windows, sometimes intentionally tapping on walls or furniture so that my environment doesn't linger in silence for too long. When I read that sentence over again to myself, it makes me sound like a crazy person. I used to enjoy having some time to myself, but sometimes it's strange how things imprint on you.
There was a span of a couple of months where I lived in what felt like total solitude. My closest non-work friend lived forty-five minutes away and the landlord wouldn't let me out of the lease after my roommate moved out. With my horribly underpaid wages, paying for the entire lease by myself, and gas being $4 a gallon at the time, I couldn't even drive out to see anyone without having to forego something important, like food. As a result of some pretty sudden and significant life changes, I was overcome with constant feelings of depression, inadequacy, and the more than anything, neglect.
When I looked out my window there, you couldn't see any sign of human civilization, all the way to the horizon. Just nature. I woke up every morning and went to sleep every night feeling like there was nobody else in the entire world, but me. Try to imagine, for a moment, what that feels like. You look out your window in most other places and you see other buildings or cars or people. Even seeing other people going on with their lives would have been a comfort. Somehow, even a passerby making eye contact with your building is a good validation that you exist in some form, or somehow matter to somebody. But when I looked out, I knew for certain that no one was looking back. And nobody ever would be. It's one thing to experience this for a few days, but four months really begins to have an adverse affect. At some point, it starts playing tricks on you, and makes you think illogical things. It makes you feel like nothing you do matters to anybody, and in many ways it doesn't, in that situation. I could have gotten in my car and left for weeks at a time, and other than my coworkers, not a soul would have known I was gone. Even when explaining my feelings to people, I don't think they ever truly understand how devastating it felt. It rained a lot that year. That's what I remember the most.
Days like yesterday remind me of that time. It calls up all those odd phobias and neuroses that make me feel a little lonely again. At one point, they were techniques I developed for emotional survival; small steps I could take to keep the loneliness at bay. Maybe that does make me a little crazy, I don't know anymore. And really, it's not the point anyway. I guess at the end of the day, it all boils down to appreciation. I don't feel alone anymore. I have a supportive network of friends who are always there for me and who are well within immediate driving distance. Some of which would probably drop everything if they knew I wasn't doing anything. And most of all, I have Lia. She's been such a positive influence in my life these past thirteen months. I have so much now that I didn't have back then, and I'm so thankful to have it.
Eventually, it did start to rain yesterday evening. For me, a reminder of those dark times. I decided to go out and buy her favorite flowers, and when she called to let me know she was coming home, I sat on the stairs with them, waiting for her to come home so I could surprise her. It was the least I could do.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Detour
We stopped in at the new duplex last week to bring boxes over, only to find a HUGE puddle in the basement and lots of water damage on the basement ceiling. Lia and I made a list of a bunch of other stuff that needed to be fixed before we move in. The fridge was leaking, ceiling tiles in the basement were caved in, the tube that connects to the washer/dryer is apparently not up to code because it's one of those flexi-duct things instead of a solid pipe. The previous tenants left a whole bunch of crap there (including a full litterbox) and a bunch of other crap in the basement. A lot of the walls need to be completely repainted, which we didn't notice the first time through because the previous tenants still had all their decorations up. And there was still no evidence that they were planning on putting in a dishwasher, which was a dealbreaker for us.
So, after puttering around in there for a while and taking measurements, we walked out the front door and were looking around the yard. The neighbor who would be living next-door to us came out and we introduced ourselves. The FIRST THING she said to us, was asking if there was water in the basement. We told her that there was quite a bit, and she said that this had been an on-going problem for at least three months. She's called the landlords over, and over, and over, and they refuse to do anything about it. The landlord had hired a couple of "fly-by-nights" (her words) to come and fix the gutters a couple of months ago and they made the problem worse. The landlords won't get it fixed unless they can get the same guys to come back and fix it, which they won't. She described the water pouring into her basement as "a waterfall" and said this has been going on this entire time.
Back-up, now. When we first toured the place, they had responded to our phone calls almost immediately. The tour was set up quickly, their offer to give us the place was quick, and our response was also quick. They said our next step was to sign the lease and give them our security deposit. After not hearing anything for like a week, and leaving repeated phone calls to try and set up a meeting to do this, they called Lia back to have her bring our security deposit to Wendi (the wife's) workplace. My memory's a little fuzzy here, but if I recall, she had apologized because some family member is in the hospital so she's been really busy, and she forgot the forms. Lia gave her our security deposit because they said they need someone in there immediately or else they would have to find someone else.
We continued to call to get the lease signed because it had been freaking us out a little to not have it in writing that we're renting it. We didn't think that they were going to suddenly rent it to someone else, but it was still making us a little nervous because this whole process has been HIGHLY abnormal. One day, Wendi called to inform us that she was leaving the keys and the forms at the property, and that we'd have to stop in and pick them up from the current tenant before he moves. We each tried stopping in over and over and the current tenants were never home so we couldn't pick anything up. Lia finally managed to get in and get the keys, but the forms weren't a lease or anything, just a rental application.
After literally WEEKS of not receiving feedback from the new landlords, along with the testimonial of the woman next door, the whole thing was just very weird to us and we were quite concerned last friday. We left her a message with all the stuff that needs to be fixed or installed before we sign the lease. We gave them all a couple days to respond, and we hadn't heard anything.
No lease was signed, no applications were filled out, and popular consensus was that we should BAIL as soon as possible. The only real collateral is that we had keys to the place and she had our security deposit checks already cashed. We decided that's what we were going to do. We tried getting in touch with Wendi three times that night, and even left her a message saying that we were pulling the plug and wanted our security deposit back. It's just a very worrisome pattern of behavior and we don't think we should have to deal with that if we can still get out.
The next morning, Lia tried calling her again. Wendi claimed she never got any of our messages that were telling her to call us and that we were backing out. Lia reiterated that we want out. Then Wendi started screaming at Lia, yelling things like "I'm the best landlord ever! How dare you not trust me! I'm a Christian so you know you can trust me, because that's my identity, but I'm going to keep your security deposit anyway!" and all this crazy bullshit. It was on speaker, so I could hear too. It was pretty intense. So she got her husband on the phone, who was much more calm, and we talked them into giving us half the security deposit back (which we have in our possession right now.) If they can get a renter in the next two weeks, they'll give us the other half. We exchanged the first half of the rent for the keys. We're prepared to just eat the cost of the second half if we need to.
We looked at a couple of other places. Most of them were "meh." One of them really stood out to us, and we really liked it, and we are honestly having trouble finding any flaws with it. The only issue we had was that it was listed at our limit that we set for what we could afford, but she is willing to drop the rent by like $50 a month for us! That actually puts it at the BOTTOM of our price range! Newly repainted, nice floors, brand new energy efficient windows, awesome deck and yard, new appliances, has it's own washer and dryer and dishwasher, huge bathroom (with a blue toilet!), one balcony and an extensive upper porch, lots of square footage, lots of closet space, they allow dogs and have two quiet ones downstairs, lots of windows and natural light, etc. We put in our applications yesterday. It's vacant right now, so she said we would be able to move in as soon as we'd like to. The landlords live downstairs and it's a couple in probably their late 20's. It's actually a three-floor house. We would be on the second floor. They said they turned the 3rd floor into their own personal movie theater, so maybe if we become friends we would get to use it too.
Provided we take the place of course, but we both really like it a LOT. We're trying to not be over-zealous though, because apparently that gets us into trouble. We're going to take a second walk-through either way to make sure. I'm sure I'll have an update on this soon.
So, after puttering around in there for a while and taking measurements, we walked out the front door and were looking around the yard. The neighbor who would be living next-door to us came out and we introduced ourselves. The FIRST THING she said to us, was asking if there was water in the basement. We told her that there was quite a bit, and she said that this had been an on-going problem for at least three months. She's called the landlords over, and over, and over, and they refuse to do anything about it. The landlord had hired a couple of "fly-by-nights" (her words) to come and fix the gutters a couple of months ago and they made the problem worse. The landlords won't get it fixed unless they can get the same guys to come back and fix it, which they won't. She described the water pouring into her basement as "a waterfall" and said this has been going on this entire time.
Back-up, now. When we first toured the place, they had responded to our phone calls almost immediately. The tour was set up quickly, their offer to give us the place was quick, and our response was also quick. They said our next step was to sign the lease and give them our security deposit. After not hearing anything for like a week, and leaving repeated phone calls to try and set up a meeting to do this, they called Lia back to have her bring our security deposit to Wendi (the wife's) workplace. My memory's a little fuzzy here, but if I recall, she had apologized because some family member is in the hospital so she's been really busy, and she forgot the forms. Lia gave her our security deposit because they said they need someone in there immediately or else they would have to find someone else.
We continued to call to get the lease signed because it had been freaking us out a little to not have it in writing that we're renting it. We didn't think that they were going to suddenly rent it to someone else, but it was still making us a little nervous because this whole process has been HIGHLY abnormal. One day, Wendi called to inform us that she was leaving the keys and the forms at the property, and that we'd have to stop in and pick them up from the current tenant before he moves. We each tried stopping in over and over and the current tenants were never home so we couldn't pick anything up. Lia finally managed to get in and get the keys, but the forms weren't a lease or anything, just a rental application.
After literally WEEKS of not receiving feedback from the new landlords, along with the testimonial of the woman next door, the whole thing was just very weird to us and we were quite concerned last friday. We left her a message with all the stuff that needs to be fixed or installed before we sign the lease. We gave them all a couple days to respond, and we hadn't heard anything.
No lease was signed, no applications were filled out, and popular consensus was that we should BAIL as soon as possible. The only real collateral is that we had keys to the place and she had our security deposit checks already cashed. We decided that's what we were going to do. We tried getting in touch with Wendi three times that night, and even left her a message saying that we were pulling the plug and wanted our security deposit back. It's just a very worrisome pattern of behavior and we don't think we should have to deal with that if we can still get out.
The next morning, Lia tried calling her again. Wendi claimed she never got any of our messages that were telling her to call us and that we were backing out. Lia reiterated that we want out. Then Wendi started screaming at Lia, yelling things like "I'm the best landlord ever! How dare you not trust me! I'm a Christian so you know you can trust me, because that's my identity, but I'm going to keep your security deposit anyway!" and all this crazy bullshit. It was on speaker, so I could hear too. It was pretty intense. So she got her husband on the phone, who was much more calm, and we talked them into giving us half the security deposit back (which we have in our possession right now.) If they can get a renter in the next two weeks, they'll give us the other half. We exchanged the first half of the rent for the keys. We're prepared to just eat the cost of the second half if we need to.
We looked at a couple of other places. Most of them were "meh." One of them really stood out to us, and we really liked it, and we are honestly having trouble finding any flaws with it. The only issue we had was that it was listed at our limit that we set for what we could afford, but she is willing to drop the rent by like $50 a month for us! That actually puts it at the BOTTOM of our price range! Newly repainted, nice floors, brand new energy efficient windows, awesome deck and yard, new appliances, has it's own washer and dryer and dishwasher, huge bathroom (with a blue toilet!), one balcony and an extensive upper porch, lots of square footage, lots of closet space, they allow dogs and have two quiet ones downstairs, lots of windows and natural light, etc. We put in our applications yesterday. It's vacant right now, so she said we would be able to move in as soon as we'd like to. The landlords live downstairs and it's a couple in probably their late 20's. It's actually a three-floor house. We would be on the second floor. They said they turned the 3rd floor into their own personal movie theater, so maybe if we become friends we would get to use it too.
Provided we take the place of course, but we both really like it a LOT. We're trying to not be over-zealous though, because apparently that gets us into trouble. We're going to take a second walk-through either way to make sure. I'm sure I'll have an update on this soon.
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